Thinking about conflict theologically,
1. Conflict starts in the heart, and it is based on the condition of our hearts that conflict is either good or bad. If we are entering conflict with a brother or sister because we are motivated by love to edify him or her or the body of Christ as a whole, conflict is necessary and beneficial to all. If we are seeking to tear down someone, or pursuing selfish aims we have entered the realm of bad conflict.
2. The Bible gives a number of suggestions for how to deal with conflict between Christians, ie. Matthew 18, and it should be our responsibility to observe these and practice them in our lives. Conflict may even be motivated by good intentions, but if it is not done in a God glorifying way, it is counterproductive.
3. There are times when the good of the body as a whole may need to be placed above the personal concerns of the individual. This to say that there may be times when one must pick and choose his or her battles out of concern for the community. Sometimes it may be better to grow thicker skin in order to prevent hostility being felt between the whole body.
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